21: Table for two?

I hate going to restaurants with my wife (much to her disdain). I do love eating in 'gastro' pubs though. What's the difference?

The bloody seating. In restaurants you are encouraged to sit artificially opposite each other - a very formal arrangement for the most informal occasions. In the pub though you can sit next to each other, lounge, sit at the bar, read the paper, whatever you want - great food in an informal atmosphere.

someone should start a chain that has the best of both worlds - good restaurant food but in a more informal setting (or is that just what the best gastropubs already offer?).

20: Arsenal. Did you know?

Arsenal are currently by far and away the best team in English football. But did you know they do not have any white English first team players and only one in their entire squad?

It took a while but at last black English sportsmen and women are getting the opportunities that skill deserves but which they were deprived of by racism all the way up to the 70's and 80's (when I was growing up). How many more brilliant players could football have seen and the English national team benefited from if racism hadn't (and didn't) exist?

Do you think the same thing is happening these days to English players of Asian descent?

Anyone remember Clyde Best? a hero of mine at West Ham.

19: Old People Do What They Want....

...and we let them!

It was after church on Sunday, we all went to the coffee shop for cake and espresso. So there was five of us round the table.....An old woman who was sitting down at the next table wanted to clear it of the dirty cup that was cluttering it - so she could enjoy her cup of tea on a nice clear table - so where did she choose to put the dirty washing-up!?

right down on our table - while we were all sitting there chatting - she leans over and puts the dirty cup on our table...

and we let her get away with it.

can't wait till I'm old enough to do that. If you can get away with that, you'll be able to get away with murder.

18. One of the worst marketing ideas I've ever seen.

I think they are trying to include humour - but there's no irony and it doesn't work. For a company that's trying to appeal to the middle class this looks like the work of the old door to door salesmen fleecing the working classes.

'Convert your friends into cash'

says mail order catalogue people Boden.

and how much in cash are your friends worth? Exactly £2.50 But they are worthless if they are already on the Boden database, as Boden only pay you for selling to them the personal details of your friends they haven't yet captured on their computer database.

as Boden say "Make sure you get the most out of your friendships."

17. One Of The Best Ideas I've Ever Seen

and it's French!

Wait for it. In Paris there is a nursery for babies and toddlers but they share it - it's also for old people!!. Fantastic, they need to be looked after in exactly the same way - spoon fed food with no solids in it, helped on and off potties - at completely random times - with no notice, they share the same IQ and thus have the same interest in completely unintelligible things..and building blocks.

what a great use of resources.

Bring it on.

16. The most ridiculous 'organic' product

I have today seen such a thing. What could it be that is so ridiculous? An organic MacDonald's burger?, organic Cheerios?, organic Mars Bars? Nope.

Organic cola bottle sweets.

What's the point? If people are gonna buy rubbish to eat then let them eat rubbish? How much better for you do you think 'organic' cola bottles are compared to 'traditional' cola bottles?

15. The worst meeting room in the World.

Meetings are called in order to achieve something - often a business or creative solution. There is one type of meeting room where it is impossible to achieve this. They are depressing and not inspiring in the faintest.

If you are invited to a meeting at this location tell them exactly what you think and have it moved to the nearest coffee house. They will respect you for your honesty.

The place to avoid: The foyers / cafes of faceless corporate expensive hotels.

They're bolloxs.

14. Psychedelic magazine

Why doesn't someone start a trippy magazine for people born in the '60's and call it ' Clunk Click'?

ps - The bike and seat is back - Molly is very happy and enjoyed talking to the police. The very young culprit claimed he found it. The police said they are posh and they believe them - I think there's a Scrooge and Oliver type operation going on in this road.

13. Unexpected sighting of our bike

Strange Tales 2

While I was recently cycling 1000 miles from Lands End to John O'Groats for charity Helen and Rose's bike was stolen from our front garden - a woman's bike with a child seat on the back.

Great.

But 2 weeks later we spy it! Literally 9 doors down the road padlocked in one of our neighbour's front gardens. They were out but its going to be fun when we have a face to face on their doorstep later.

We will have to solve the mystery of what they have done with Rose's seat? And its still got the puncture it had when it was nicked.

Great.

12. Unexpected sightings of yourself

Strange Tales 1

Strange things happen when you're in your forties (pt 1).

I had just finished playing footie on Saturday and scoring two goals! (in a 2v6 defeat! - but as you get older the priorities change - it was no longer the result that was important - just the fact I'd scored two goals!).

I went to 'calm down' in cafe with a coffee and a copy of Arena they had. On flicking through it there was a feature on Viz and a picture of the editorial team from about ten years ago. But in the photo - lurking at the back, was me!

It was taken in the 4 days I spent with them touring Universities promoting the mag in around '94ish. 4 days out of the fifteen year history of the comic and they choose a photo from then - a weird coincidence all round.

Unexpected sighting of self

Unexpected sighting of bike.

11. Carlos

Carlos is the magazine to feel and read if you get the chance. Designed without the need to impress the consumer on the newsstands it immediately stands out as different and has consequently already won awards.

Want to buy it? Some good central London newsagents have copies at £3. Want to get it for free? Then book a flight on Virgin Upper class, for which it is created and given free to customers.

10. What's A Real Brand

Each supermarket obviously doesn't own it's own factory for the manufacturing of all of its own label products such as; beer, wine, baked beans, toilet roll, soup, tinned fruit etc, so who makes it?

I'm surprised no one has started (a no doubt anonymous) website that lists the own label products that are actually the same as branded products but with the cheaper label on...?

Surely this would be the obvious way for anti-consumers to break down the power of brands.